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Leading a Va’ad: What it Takes Editor’s Note: Yashar welcomes contributions that inspire or teach fellow Mussar students. Our goal is to make space each month for guest articles. Please send your suggestions to info@mussarinstitute.org. When Alan asked me to write about my experience leading an on-going Mussar va’ad for the past 3-and-1/2 years in Manhattan, I was honored because it was an opportunity to practice Mussar: to do a deed that reflects awareness of “from where you came, where you are going, and before whom you stand to give judgment and accounting: the King of kings of kings, Hakadosh Baruch Hu (Pirkei Avot 3:1).” I have been learning and practicing Mussar since Alan created The Mussar Institute (TMI), and in 2005, I trained as a Pathlighter, an experienced Mussar practitioner who leads va’adim for TMI courses. Part of the training required leading a va’ad in a TMI course, however, instead of learning TMI’s material solely through the Internet, meeting in chevruta or a lay-lead va’ad, the students were led by me, a trained facilitator, which as a method overall has proven to enrich students’ practice and experience of Mussar. The experience of practicing Mussar in an “in-person” va’ad led by a trained facilitator and experienced Mussar practitioner was so rewarding for my students that most of them wanted to maintain the va’ad after TMI’s course. The students could either continue through one of TMI’s Internet courses or I could teach them as a va’ad independent of TMI, which would mean that I would have to create Mussar curriculum independent of TMI. The va’ad decided collectively that it would continue independently, and I have been teaching and leading it for over three-and-a-half years. I named the group “The Ladder Va’ad of Manhattan” in honor of my teacher, Alan, who titled his first book after our forefather Yaakov, who dreamed of angels climbing and descending a ladder that reached Heaven, a metaphor for the consequences of our own behavior. What was it about that “in-person” va’ad experience led by a trained, experienced Mussar practitioner that led most of the students to want to continue practicing Mussar in a va’ad, and more importantly, to continue dedicating their time and energy to meeting in a group every other week for two hours on a Sunday evening? What was it about that experience that led six to eight strangers to commit to each other as an act of responsibility to create and sustain spiritual community? What need did the Ladder Mussar Va’ad fulfill that continues to be the desire of Mussar teachers and students alike?. What I have to say will not be popular among those who expect Mussar to be accessible, and thus, available to all, but creating and maintain a Mussar va’ad and thus, creating the space for va’ad experience to transform the students from strangers to community members, is done only by being highly selective and demanding. Mussar is exceedingly challenging, requiring students to meet every other week in person for at least six months at a time, where the whole purpose is to cause growth that is both difficult and vulnerable, does not make for a fashionable spiritual discipline. The students have to want it and actually work for it. I select and foster students who have the need to witness and be witnessed at their worst, sinful behavior and at their best, righteous behavior – those whose whole purpose is to accompany the O/other on this journey of growth to become “always becoming” toward their best selves in service of HaShem and others. I organize the va’ad in six-month intervals, using a particular Mussar text to guide our practice of middot. This allows students to leave the va’ad after their six-month commitment, yet most do not leave. I allow new members to join only if they have experience practicing Mussar, are an appropriate fit, and are ready to make the commitment required of Mussar practice, particularly in a va’ad. Several students have been with me in the Ladder Va’ad for the full three-and-a-half years. They form the core of the va’ad that proves its stability and strength. True bonding emanates from them and I simply guide their energy and commitment to welcome and acclimatize new members who are seeking what the Ladder Va’ad provides. Transforming a va’ad into spiritual community takes time, patience, and commitment. As the teacher, I have to practice Mussar, and in particular the middah of humility, to know when to push for what is needed, and when to withdraw, restricting my facilitation to make room for the students to lead themselves. This on-going dance of taking up appropriate space and leadership eventually unfolds into a community of Mussar practitioners who are truly committed to the va’ad because they know they need the it for their Mussar practice. They learn that their own individual practice will be negatively affected if one of the members leaves, especially if that someone who leaves actually triggers one or more of the other students. Being triggered by another student is actually a sign of your own particular curriculum bestowed by HaShem, and a good va’ad with a good teacher will actually highlight this and use it as grist for the mill for the growth of all members. Some members eventually leave: indeed, that is the nature of a va’ad, as well as life. But the true test is whether it can weather these changes, whether it can not only learn from individual Mussar practice but actually practice Mussar within and as a Va’ad. Indeed, this has been the success of the Ladder Va’ad. A final word about commitment. I was offered a fellowship to learn and teach in Israel for a year, and although my Ladder Va’ad preferred that I continue teaching and leading it, the students knew I would do all that I could to enable the continuation of the va’ad. I sought out two experienced, talented teachers, and they will be guest teaching and leading the Ladder Va’ad while I am away. When I return, I will teach and lead the Ladder Va’ad just as I have been for over three-and-a-half years. I love my students; and love in Judaism, and thus Mussar, is reflected in deeds: deeds of commitment, responsibility, zeal, steadfastness, and righteousness. ChasyaUriel Steinbauer is Legacy Heritage Fellow at the Conservative Yeshiva in Jerusalem, where she learns Talmud and Rabbinics. She is a Mussar practitioner and teacher, leading the Ladder Va’ad of Manhattan for the past three and half years. She was a Fellow in the Scholars’ Circle at Drisha Institute for Jewish Education, where she learned Talmud and Halakha for five years. In Fall 2010, she will work toward completing Rabbinic ordination and a Doctorate in Talmud and Rabbinics at the Jewish Theological Seminary in Manhattan. |
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