Cultivating a Mussar Study Group
By David Ruhm

Editor’s Note: Yashar welcomes contributions that inspire or teach fellow Mussar students. Our goal is to make space each month for guest articles. Please send your suggestions to info@mussarinstitute.org.

About two years ago, a small group of congregants at a synagogue in
Encinitas, Calif., decided to form a Mussar study group with help from The
Mussar Institute. I facilitate the meetings of the group, which has grown to about 18 members. We meet every two weeks, delve into a Mussar character trait or middah,and share experiences in Mussar from everyday life.

Study group members range from a broad variety of backgrounds, professions and perspectives. Each shows respect for the other while remaining candid, allowing us to get to know and appreciate each other in some depth over time. As a result, a warm atmosphere pervades, conducive to discussing middot (character traits) that show up in real-life situations. After working through several TMI courses, the group's members have become familiar with Mussar concepts and the middot. Many have done independent research from Mussar sources, which they contribute at our meetings. In short, we’ve grown self-reliant, and members show a strong interest in learning more about Mussar and becoming more aware of middot in life's course.
 
Indeed, members say their relationships and interactions have improved as a result of their work on middot, as they bring lessons learned to real situations afterward.

One member’s comments illustrate the study group’s value: “In our group, sharing our insights and struggles creates a closeness, an expansion of living. The experience feels like an opening of our souls -- an awareness of the presence of God within and among us.

“As we spend more time together we have become more revealing. It is deeply
touching to see us respond to one another with an increased capacity for
compassionate support; the soul-traits that we have and are studying --
trust, honor, humility, forgiveness, gratitude, patience, equanimity,
truth, silence -- are more apparent in how we respond to each other.

“For me, the unconditional love that our group provides is a blessing.”

The member adds: “The spiritual tone is set and modeled by our facilitator who gently guides us back to the essence of holiness. In so doing we are given an
alternative to whatever feeling, thought, or behavior where we had been
stuck. The healing is therefore immediate and powerful and the new place
can grow within each of us and within our repertoire as a group.”

“Prior to joining the Mussar class I had a daily spiritual practice that included my version of ’Accounting of the Soul.’ Now, as I include each middah, there is a deepening and increased peace in my practice.”

“As the integration of what I learn takes place, I feel a beautiful, calm,
joy, whenever spontaneously I respond differently toward myself or another. Mussar study has helped me understand the relationship of
generosity, silence, and humility and put that understanding into action.

Specifically, I have had a tendency, in certain situations, to be what I
considered ’helpful.’  Mussar discernment allowed me to look at this
’helpfulness’ and see that I had overreached my place (humility). Instead,
to be truly giving (generous) my most supportive, empowering action was to
not speak or act (silence). Simultaneously, this caused me to question my
intent and see that my being "helpful" had been a misdirected, oblique way
to take care of myself. Thus, through Mussar learning, I now have a better
ability to understand my true intent, to directly take care of myself, and
to respond appropriately to others. In other words, I am more authentic.”

“Mussar has helped me in my daily quest to simply be, to live from my soul.
What a blessing.”

The Encinitas study group began its latest series of meetings in early
September to prepare for the High Holidays. We look forward to
another enlightening season in Fall 2009, and to many more good Mussar
conversations in the years to come.

David Ruhm lives in Orange County, Calif., with his wife and three children. He is an actuary, and has been practicing Mussar since 2003. He can be reached at peace512@hotmail.com.

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