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MY MUSSAR JOURNEY By Daniel Beaupain The first time I heard about Mussar was when I read a review of Alan’s book Climbing Jacobs Ladder in the only Dutch Jewish weekly we have here in the Netherlands. It hit me right between the eyes because I was already searching for quite some time for a practical Jewish method for personal growth. Many years before, I assumed that Kabbalah was the answer to my question. However all I got was a lot of reading material and information but nothing really happened to me on the spiritual level. After reading the book review I registered for the Course in Mussar I, and then continued with Mussar II after a year in between. Mussar was all and more than I expected. Through the combined approach of chevruta and va’ad, I received more insights about myself (and others) and was at the same time given practical tools to improve whatever I concluded ought to be improved or balanced. It also encouraged me to participate in a different kind of Kabbalah study at the Jerusalem-based Isralight Institute where Rabbis David Aaron and Binny Freedman helped me rediscover more of the age-old aspects of Jewish traditions, and I found it very complimentary to my Mussar study, helping increase my commitment towards the mitzvot. My decades-old preconception about the prohibitive nature of living by the mitzvot was shattered and gently replaced by the discovery of its uplifting and growth-giving powers. All that was needed was a different view. Two examples of the practical impact Mussar has on my life. I frequently used my father’s disability parking license whenever I drove him somewhere. But because of a lack of patience, I also used it personally whenever no immediate parking space was available and I was too lazy to take an extra stroll. Mussar corrected me of that practice, especially after working on humility (no more than my space no less than my place) and made me also realize that I was in fact stealing something that was someone else’s. But the first middah I worked hard on was anger (in my case often caused by lack of patience). Whenever I arrived at traffic lights, they were seemingly always red. I made that reaction disappear by learning to smile at red lights without caring what people in adjacent lanes thought of me. I also stopped getting angry when motorists’ cars in front of me broke down, causing traffic jams behind me. Nowadays, I thank Hashem that at least my car is still functioning well. I consider my pursuit of Mussar to be the best choice I have made in my life and the best investment both in time and money. |
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