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By Samuel Finnerman
Poughkeepsie, NY
When asked about my experiences to bring Mussar to my community of Poughkeepsie, NY last year, the first questions that bubbles up are how are we called to serve, whether we are pulled or pushed and in where does that force come from.
Is it a product of some egotistic desire or is it deeper, greater and beyond the narrow realm of the self? Maybe, just maybe, it is a manifestation of a force that transcends our human consciousness. Maybe, just maybe, there is a Divine magnetic force that drew me out of my crustacean shell, the protective habits both good and bad, and whispered so gently to me to serve and help and answer a Divine request to address a spiritually starved Jewish world in one tiny corner of His Universe through a process and a teaching that charged my very soul, Mussar.
The mechanics of my involvement as a Pathlighter are simple. In 2005, after reading Alan Morinis’ book, Climbing Jacob’s Ladder, I said to my wife that Mussar would be great for me. Actually my words were, “I need this” and that I would love to study it. Being more technologically advanced than I, my wife informed me of Alan’s web site and that he offered Mussar programs through the Mussar Institute. I enrolled in The Course in Mussar I immediately, finishing the 26-week program in July 2005 with passion, commitment and excitement for the knowledge and the processes revealed in the course.
Fortunately, I was receptive to the teachings and traditional perspectives of Mussar since beginning in 2001, our Rabbi, Paul Golomb, had started a Shabbat morning Torah class that I diligently attended. The study of Torah for both my wife, Adriaan, and I led to an ever increasing embracement of Jewish ritual practices and Jewish consciousness. This depth into Judaism was further enhanced with programs that we both took at Elat Chayyim, a Jewish Retreat Center, about an hour from our house.
Of course, the only true judge of whether Mussar had any impact on me, my behaviors and attitudes, are other people and in particular my wife. In the summer of 2005, Adriaan as head of our synagogue’s adult education program, asked me if I would teach a course on Mussar in the fall. I said I would, but I could not ethically use Alan’s material and I would not know how and where to begin, given that I was only an initiate in the Mussar world. Most fortuitously, within a matter of weeks after Adriaan’s request, the Mussar Institute, issued an invitation to its ever growing audience for interested and chosen individuals to become Pathlighters, a guide and advanced student of Mussar in order to bring Mussar into our respective local communities in a more direct and consistent format through va’ads and study groups. I applied, was accepted and subsequently joined 11 others and our teachers, Alan Morinis and Shirah Bell, in Berkeley, Calif. in November of 2005, to begin our training, work and collaboration.
The support, encouragement and inspiration from Alan and Shirah from the very beginning have been a constant foundation. The program also opened the gate into the broader world of Mussar, to both the living masters, teachers and rabbis whose works we read and met at the Mussar Kallah, and the ones from the past, who come to us from throughout the ages through their books and the human connections transmitted from teacher to student, teacher to student, spanning time and space. Those very connections reach us at in touches, looks, heartfelt guidance and feelings that can only come from the most intimately nurtured "anavah and avadut HaShem" which means "humility and service of God." As extraordinary as the formal designation as a Pathlighters has been, a blessing that has opened channels into the world of Mussar, the most enlightening and transformative experience, the one that I have felt that has allowed me to become a worthwhile guide of Mussar, was and is my continuing experience as a member of the East Coast Mussar Va’ad, a support study group of fellow Pathlighters who meet via the telephone and email about twice a month for about ten months of the year.
What impact has Mussar had on our community? To be humble, its impact has been limited in that it has been offered and promoted on a limited basis. The first study session began in January 2006 in my synagogue and I was surprised that 15 enrolled. After a break for about half a year, a core element of eight continued in late November, using the text, Cheshbon HaNesfesh, as our study guide and framework, meeting every two to three weeks.. The first challenge for me as a guide was promoting the course and attracting enough participants. The next challenge and central ethical issue is properly preparing for each session, investing the time, reading and thought to properly honor the participants, my teachers and colleagues. It also has opened up the Gates of Diligence and Self Discipline, two middot that my soul wanted me to nurture. Those very challenges and stress issues have also been the central areas of my own Mussar work.
Going forward, for the upcoming fall, the primary work will be to balance the forces of two drives – the one of my work and business at a most central time in my life with the desire and passion to promote and guide a new beginning Ladder program. While it may seem that there is a clash driven by the drive to be excellent in two apparently different worlds, with two very different time masters, my gut says that the central work of integration and wholeness is to do both extraordinarily well; that this is the answer to the call of HaShem, the yearning that one feels.
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